Life's Omega and Alpha

* * *

091231

OMEGA AND ALPHA (First Draft; see "ASIDE" below)

the last of things last meal last cigarette last word last of the Mohicans
the phases of pupa, larva, etc… not so precise
last of it can be the least of it… the first of something else
but what is significantly new from one calendar day to the next?
one deck of cards can be played an umpteen thousand ways
or is there really a progression; something imposed? deposed? supposed?
I’ve probably been taught and have forgotten why my culture celebrates
the turning of the year on January 1st
for there are Nature’s laws and timings—solstices, etc.
year like rosary beads with holy days and holidays, the Ave’s and Our Fathers
along our way though the days
the turn and tip or tilt of earth, the counter-tilt of moon
I’d like to see the southern constellations
he said “I’m going to write a book; 3 pages a day for a year.”
that’s a lot of thinking. no, ruminating, questioning, researching.
one kind of thinking is like that… like opening the valve.
another is to filter, clarify, distill.
it’s all about what you will
I suppose at New Year’s we celebrate the going and the coming,
the end and the beginning, the—
not the Alpha and Omega, but the Omega and the Alpha…
the whatever next that follows what we know
what we knew and did—the flow, the open valve, and New year’s
is the water treatment.
for half the world at solstice time… the Icarus idea…
at the same moment parts of earth and parts of humankind are in
the most cold phase; others are in the most-hot, and at the equator,
the change is minimal
the turning of a year—how profound do we want to make that?
ho-hum or humongous?
our perceived life may be a paint-by-numbers, but we can change t
he color scheme, or disregard the lines, or simply
open the paints and inhale the fumes
the last laugh last breath last morsel last drop


[ASIDE: I made a typo when I first titled this:
“OMEGA AND ALPHA (First Drat)”
Today, as I watched the beautiful dawn unfold,
many poems appeared in various stages of completion.
This particular one is so lengthy and intimidating that
I don’t know if I can refine it in a year. So I offer it as
an example of the writing/creation process for anyone
who might be interested. So far, the only reworking
is to undo some typo's or shorten some lines.]


091230

SOMEONE’S LIFE

Someone has to live this life
as if it matters—must be bold,
assuming that each seed
it grows and scatters
will rebound a hundredfold.

Someone has to live this life
out in the open, bare,
ready to be stared at, stare.

Someone has to live this life
from beginning to end,
meandering through
its fair-to-middling middle.

Someone has to delve the riddle
of what is mess, what success,
and what to make
of waylayal and betrayal.

Someone has to live this life
in tuition to intuition.

Someone has to open to light,
thrilling at first and second sight.

Someone has to die the death
that follows every followed breath.

Someone has to live this life
in all its mundane glory—

Someone has to tell the story


[ASIDE: This poem was nearly or partly lost.
It disappeared from my computer and had to be
reconstructed from memory. I am so proud of the attempt;
it gives me more confidence in my mind and muse.
What/who is a muse? If you’re engaged with one, you know. ]


* * *

God and Mortality

* * *


091229

WRITING AT ODD ANGLES

How I love a pencil
when I write in bed!
I can seldom count on ink
like I can count on lead.


WRITING TOOLS

Tonight,
I’m writing with a Papermate
Sharpwriter #2.

(Every paper needs a mate—
some sharp writer who
helps to maximize its worth,
bringing quickened thoughts to birth.)


BODY WRAP (for Ado)

When did my skin get so thin?
It’s like waxed paper crumpled
or an old silk-tissue sheath
I let get stained and rumpled.

[ASIDE: Although I was glancing at my own skin when
writing this, the poem when done aroused feelings of
connection with my friend and "adopted mother" Ado,
who recently died.]


091228

QUALIFICATIONS

You don’t have to kill yourself
looking for a job—at least not
the one that advertised:
"No expirence necessary."


THRILL OF A LIFETIME

When I went to Russia,
I walked the streets alone.

Well, who would want a
group or troupe
when one can walk alone?


LIGHT OF HEART (for Susan)

May we be thankful
today for the light,
which fills each of our lives
with love and delight
and, next to each sunspot,
shows all the more bright.

[ASIDE: Susan’s 10 most frequently used words on Facebook are:
thankful, today, may, little, more, our, which, sunspot, each, and light.]


PROSECUTORIAL IMMUNITY

If you are in a position
to stop a murder or other crime
and do nothing to prevent it,
you can be held liable
as an accessory to the crime—
unless, of course, you’re God.


CODE VIOLATION

I don’t enjoy washing cockroaches
down the drain and I suspect
they’re not thrilled either.
Why do I do what doesn’t make us happy?


CAVEAT PRE-EMPTOR

Here’s some advice,
straight on the level—
a bargain’s no bargain
that’s made with the devil.


ACE IN THE HOLE

Dad’s the king of comedy.
Mom’s a drama queen.
Brother—what a joker!

Our home is quite a scene.
(There are no guards
in this mental ward.)

In this place, I'm an ace.
I live in a house of cards.


CHILLED

Our bed is cold;
I'm about to freeze.
Come warm me up.
Come catch some zzz's.
Quit dallying—
you're such a tease!

“I guess I might—
if you’d said please!”


DIVINE INFERNAL

God is a heavenly
Being of love,
or so the scriptures tell.

His master plan
included man.
(What in hell
was He thinking of?)


091227

BE A PRO

Write as if.
That's your gift.

See it done.
Make it fun.
The odds against—
though stacked sky high—
are odds against
you must outfly.

Write as if.
That's your gift


091224

WASS AILING ME?

Christmas is here;
that time of hobnobbing.
All of my friends
are busy eggnogging.

I should feel cheer—
instead, I am sobbing
over a tooth
that set my jaw throbbing.

Wait! It’s come clear—
the cure for my flogging!
Drown it in beer.
Go glugging and grogging!


‘TIS THE NIGHT
BEFORE CHRISTMAS

I'm making a list,
checking it twice—
last minute shopping
for naughty and nice.


091222

IMPOUNDED

Bewildered--
that is my first impression
of the kennel occupants;
the dogs for whom life has
so abruptly changed.

I wonder, do they eventually
acclimate, resigning themselves
to concrete, gravel and chain-link?
Or is there even time for that?

Their bodies
express everything so candidly—
history, temperament, thought.

Love and pain co-reside in their eyes.

In this place, they receive
excellent care by caring people—
but they know, and we know
that life should not be like this.
This is not right.

We are brethren,
designed to be free—
following our hearts and noses
over the wide, wondrous,
sun-warmed earth—
not chain-linked to, or from, anything.


SEVEN WEEKS

People don't stay kid-cute long.
As for kittens, the window of cuteness
closes quickly.

At the shelter, animal discards
are caged and dated.
No matter their age now,
the young cats at pickup
were almost invariably
seven weeks old.
Something ended then
that can't be recaptured.


BARGAINER

Given time,
I swear I will.

Let me live
until until.


091221

THOU SHALT (for Ethan)

Hey, Yaweh!
Hey, Krishna!
Hey, Allah!
Who died and
made you God?

[ASIDE: I got to thinking about that strangely-worded
final sentence which is so often bandied about.]


* * *

Writer at Christmas

* * *

091225

DENTAL FLAWS

Hot and cold,
sweets (like cake)—
these things cause
my tooth to ache.

Though I beg
the pain to slake,
eyes and jaws
and cheeks partake.


091224

VERSE-ATILE

What shall we make a poem of—
a feather or a father?
A roux or kangaroo?

What shall we make a poem of?
Anything will do.


091223

DECEMBER 23

We're two days shy of Christmas,
said Adam, and—I believe—
that means tonight is Christmas
eve eve, Eve.


091222

WRITING
ASSIGNMENT

Others build
or grow
or fix.

Others mother.
I do this.



* * *

Winter and Aging

* * *


091220 (for Zach)

SNOW NAKED

Trees—
the elder
and the younger—
withdraw their energies
from these winter
silences and
furies.


091219

SURPRISE

Buzzard babies—
such a sight!
Who’d have thought
they fluff out white?


091218

IMMINENT DOMAIN

My chores were done,
and more to spare.

I headed for my easy chair.
Alas—the cat was sitting there!

“Forgive my breach of happy purrs,”
I told him, “but it’s time to stir.
So take my lap or I’ll take yours.”


091217

MUSE TO POET:

Yay! Hurray!
Oh, frabjous day!

You wanted a poem
joyful and snappy—
so, now are you happy?


BEYOND

After aftermath;
some nice surprise.

After all,
even winter dies.


091216

REMARKING TIME

For the unemployed,
meanings get reassigned:

- holiday/workday
- time on/time off

Vices become versas.


091215

NON SOM

Call it the “night bubble”—
that wide-awake, fret-tending time
between episodes of
sleep-it-under-the-rug.

Mind is a fitful child.
Might as well rise
and take care of it;
might as well walk the floors.


091214

AS LONG AS IT TAKES

Give me a word;
I'll give you a rhyme.

I'll give you a poem
if you have the time.


TOUCH OF THE DIVINE

Thank you, thank you,
powers that be,
for this human-inborn ability
to apprehend divinity!


091213

FUNNING ON EMPTY

"I'm in a bind," the poet whined.
"On my quota, I'm behind.
If there's a poem in my mind,
it's a poem I can't find."


091212

NOT OLD ENOUGH

I was born three-score
years ago, plus one.
And so, for Social Security
I'm too young.

For Medicare too; too young.
I'm sixty-one and I don't care.
I'm sixty-one; still young!


091211

DOWNSIZING

Goodbye,
right eye;
goodbye, left.

Farewell,
today's tooth;
tomorrow's.

Bone, muscle, skin—
your services;
suspend.

Goodbye,
dear body;
farewell, friend.


091210

WANDERERS, SQUANDERERS

Wasting, wasted, living lost lives
(barren, enervated, unenhanced),
we sleepwalk through paradise
oblivious, numb, self-entranced.


091209

GIFTED

Angelic?
Devilish?

Madness?
Sanity?

Gift of divinity:
our humanity.


091208

SHHHH

noise
annoys


091207

NOCTILUCID (For Rick)

Weatherman, we love you dearly.
You scan the skies day-month-yearly.

You’re a wizard.
You’re a wit:

"Behold that cloud, night-lit!
It’s more than cirrus merely;
it's noctilucent, clearly."


* * *

Scenes & Dreams

* * *


091206

HOW SUN BEAMS

In summertime
the day is long;
in wintertime
it's dusk and dawn.


SNOW MAN

Santa gives gifts,
but what does he get?

-Cookies and milk.
-Snowy, cold, wet.


091205

THERE IS A SEASON

Up around the corner from the
de-horned buck head lying centered
in the road this morning
is another deer head
lying centered in the road.

This is a residential area.

I imagine the message might be:
"Behold my prey, my mastery!"

I imagine the message might be:
"My kind will out-survive your kind."

I imagine the message might be:
"Boo! Ha-ha ha-ha-ha!"

Last week the herd at dawn
spooked when crossing the road,
skittering back and forth.

Vehicles stopped and lingered.

I imagine the message might be:
"Such wildness! Such beauty—
so vulnerable to me!"


091204

JUDICIAL RECUSAL

I don’t know why
you do the way you do;
your actions make no sense.
There’s no way to judge you
not knowing what you’ve been through
or what you’re up against.


091203

GRATITUDE LIST

Happy for happiness,
earned or unearned.

Glad for life lessons,
learned or not learned.

Grateful for friendship,
now and to be.

Thankful for moments
you share with me.


091202

UNSTRINGING THE BOW

Maybe it's a healthy sign
(one of life’s benign designs)
to follow work and weeping
with calm and over-sleeping.


091201

APPOINTED ROUNDS (for Jarrod)

I will be there. I'm a giver.
Come rain or sleet, I deliver.
Snow or no-snow,
I won’t be a no-show!


SLATED FOR A CLEAN SLATE

Prepare us, we said
to the much older couple.
What do we have in store;
what's likely to happen?

Well, she offered,
he used to forget appointments,
so I learned to remind him.
But now he forgets; then I forget;
and after that it's nice because
we both forget we forgot.
Later, when something reminds us,
we start over fresh.
We're old, but every day is new.


SUCH STUFF AS DREAMS

Emma is running upside down on the bed.
Both paws are twitching and,
under that fluffy tail, so are her feet.

I ran in my own dream last night,
one in which a cat was euthanized.

Supposedly, every dream-character
is really an aspect of the dreamer.
In the case of last night, that would
have me be very sad, angry, and dead.

I’ve heard this too—it works
to pose a question before sleeping
and expect an answer via the night’s dream.
Tonight I may ask about. . .

Well, that was quick!
But catnaps are supposed to be,
aren’t they, Emma?


091130

CHOICE

What is your wish,
asked genie of me.
Do you want to be good?
Or wealthy? Or free?

I have my wish!
I choose to be me,
trusting that me
is a good thing to be.


091129

WATCHING
THE GAME

quiet dim low
my light

i am angling for death
come on in
buddy
put your feet up
have a beer


091128

VISION OF BEAUTY

Query:
Online, your icon is a symbol
and your picture is an avatar.
Why don’t you use a photo?
Are you hiding something?
Are you ugly?

Response:
I look just like Audrey Hepburn
did in the movies.

Aside:
I open my eyes and take in
the scene.


* * *

Thanksgiving and Other Times

* * *

091127

NONE FOR ME, THANKS

Your banquet looks yummy;
so luscious and arty—
but my tummy’s in turmoil
from yesterday’s party.


091126

TODAY’S PRAISE

On this day, I’m thankful for:

Loving kin. A bed. A cup.
Sleeping till the sun comes up.
Ease of breath. Strength of limb.
Words and thoughts—like seraphim,
blunderbuss, marmalade and octopus.

On this day, I’m grateful for:

Time to see, to think, to write
and distill this world’s delight.


SO MANY FACETS!

Lauren and Lindsey:
sobriety, whimsey.

Lindsey and Lauren:
familiar, fresh, foreign.


[ASIDE: My friend's granddaughters;
wonderful girls.]


091125

BITTER, SALTY,
SOUR, SWEET

More pronounced
with passing years:
these four flavors
of our tears.


091124

WILD OATS, THEN OATMEAL

Dear underdressed and oversexed—
You're so cute!
Enjoy it while you got it.

Whether you were given it, earned it,
learned it, bought or thought it—
enjoy it while you got it.

Then, overdressed and undersexed,
enjoy what you get next.


091123

INVERSIONS

Sunny. Cloudy.
Sunny. Cloudy.
I'm managing okay,
but how is the weather?


091122

SOUL GOAL

To feel it, be it, flow it—
to love and be loved
and know it.


091121

GET OFF THE BUS

It isn’t business anymore;
everything’s a rush
of hurried-this, shortened-that,
acronyms, and such.

It isn’t business anymore.
Gee whiz, it’s biz –
it isn’t even bus!


091120

THANKS

It's hard-times times—
playing hide-and-seek
in the dark with fate—
but
I'm grateful to be grateful
for all that doesn't grate.


091119

WEEK DAZE

MON. No fun.
TUE. No clue.
WED. Half-dead.
THUR. Wake. Stir.
FRI. Fly high.
SAT. Fall flat.
SUN. So done.


091118

WHAT OUR COWORKERS SAID

“You’re the first people
that it happened to
that we’re really sad
it happened to.”


YESTERDAZE

Stories about feelings;
that is the past—
stories about feelings
about things that don't last.


COM-YOU-NICATION

"Dibs after you!"

It's smart,
even in a two-person household
to stake your claim.


MY BEST WORK

Besides background and references,
the company's director of communications
job application required six examples
of personally-written documents
as evidence of expertise.

For the sixth sample,
the kamikaze in me submitted a poem.


091117

WHAT, AGAIN?

Life keeps revealing to me
how absent-minded I am
through the many things
I forget to do
again and again and again.


091116

DISCERNMENT

Then, times were good;
prosperity came. We rode its crest.
Oh, how we were blessed!

Now, times are bad,
but gratitude is unrepressed.
Oh, how we are blessed!


091115

BIKINI GIRL

You think we’re the kind
who disapproves—
but we have news!

Hon, we too
had our time in the sun.

* * *

[ASIDE: Cleaned out old papers the other day
and found some poem snippets which became the basis
for some of the poems in this batch.]

* * *

Mostly Scaredy Things

***


091114

I’M SCARED, SOMETIMES

I’m scared of the playground
I’m scared of getting lost
I’m scared of loud noises
I’m scared of my parents yelling
I’m scared of dark places
I’m scared of what’s under that rock
I’m scared of bugs crawling on me
I’m scared of slimy things
I’m scared of pinchy things

I’m scared of thunder
I’m scared of the woods
I’m scared of spiders
I’m scared of numbers and counting
and being dumb

I’m scared of having to tell
I’m scared of bullies
I’m scared of smashed animals,
blood and stinky bodies

I’m scared of being left behind
I’m scared of icicles that might fall on me
I’m scared of Christmas trees that might burn
I’m scared of school

I’m scared to die
I’m scared of things I think up
I’m scared of being hollered at
I’m scared of some men who seem icky
and want to hug me

I’m scared of too much to learn
I’m scared of tests
I’m scared of forgetting
I’m scared of not knowing
I’m scared of the big kids

I’m scared of telephone poles
I’m scared of losing something important
I’m scared of not being picked
I’m scared of peeing in my pants
I’m scared of hurting my dog or kitty
I’m scared of getting sick
I’m scared of being ugly

I’m scared of scary stories
I’m scared of burning my hand
I’m scared of biting my tongue
I’m scared of losing my homework
I’m scared of falling in the water
I’m scared of trees that look like monsters
when the sun goes down

I’m scared of medicine
I’m scared of barking dogs
I’m scared of thorn bushes
I’m scared of turning out bad
I’m scared of money
I’m scared of no money
I’m scared of angry people
I’m scared of giving the wrong answer
Did I do okay?


IDIOT

It’s like this—
the past is a stack of coins
you had once and spent.
And now is the dime
you swore you’d turn on
when things got dicey.
And—why aren’t you moving,
you little beggar?


091114

POSITIVELY UNCERTAIN

While wondering about wonders
that this life can bring,
I wonder what would happen
if I said “yes” to everything.


091113

CLASSIFIED

The job ad
didn’t give all the particulars,
but enough—

Compensation:
commiserate with experience.


091112

WORKER TOLL

Business is booming
in crescendos of collapse.
Workers touch up resumes,
skills, and epitaphs.


091111

CHANGE MASTERY

Toying with a tidbit
picked up yesterday:
that habits of perception trap.

Want change?
Pay attention. Seek surprises.
Notice what is different.
Be alert to the extraordinary.


CALLED

“Come?” my friend asked,
in town for the night.

“Come!” I replied,
out the door in full flight.


[ASIDE: The call was to come to the restaurant
next to the hotel, for food and visiting.]


091110

OTHERS WITH SECRETS

You want to tell.
You want to explain.

You want one other person
to know your story
(not to carry your burden
but just to know you carry it).

Keeping silent anyway,
you realize or conclude—

Others valiantly harbor secrets.
It’s okay to admire yourself.


091109

HIT AND MISSED

Yesterday, guinea hens
roamed the highway,
where they'd never been before.

Now the flock is penned,
except for the stray
who, well, simply is no more.


091108

NIGHT WATCH

I’ve taken to
sleeping by day,
writing by night.

Our house is quiet now,
except for sea-surf sounds
from the other side of the bed.


091107

REVIEW

It was a good time to live.
A good place, too.

I made my
thousand-and-one choices.
I have no regrets,
that I know of,
yet.

It seemed wise
and courteous
not to bear children.

It seemed absurd
to take faith on faith.

It seemed that life
would get better and better
and it did,
for awhile,
for some.

It was a good time to live.
A good place, too.
A good life.

I have faith.


091106

COPING

Sometimes he crashes
and sleeps, like now.
Other times, I do.

Together,
whatever's past, future or now,
we'll get through.


091105

EXCHANGE

at eagle-cry:
people outdoors
cats indoors


091104

GRAY-SKY SCENE

buzzards
slowly
air-swirling:

connect-the-dot
funnel cloud


091103

MY POMES

My pomes are for me
an’, Darlin’-poo,
if you like ‘em,
they're for you.


091102

SOOTER

Awkwardly
an’ awkwordly,
brangin' odd gifts,
an' discombob’latin'
everthang,
crisis comes a'courtin'.


091101

GIVE?

Some
say soon
they might.

Some
already gave
their mite.


091031

DEJA VOODOO

Each October,
there's one night
of ghastly horror,
gore and fright—
if I remember right.


KOOKY MONSTERS

Maybe this sounds kooky,
but things are getting spooky!


091030

OKAY BY ME

it’s equally—
i don’t know why

when low low low
when high high high

i don’t care
if i live or die


091029

OPERATION OVERLOAD

Print was bad enough
in any form.

Now media onslaughts
are the norm.


091028

AT EASE

Home, free;
liberty!

Liberty;
home free!


091027

NEW SPRINT

Hurry! Hurry!
Narrow the topics,
the columns, the page.
Reduce the margins
and everyone’s wage.

Quickly Quickly!
Consolidate functions.
Restructure or merge.
Cut budgets and staff.
Don’t anyone splurge!

Now! Now!
Assuage the subscribers
by slashing each fee.
They demand a free press—
literally!


091026

FINIS

I’d better do my writing
while I still can hold a thought;
the day is fast approaching
when all I’ll have is naught.


091025

MUTANTS

My poems start out happy,
then they make a twist.
Somehow they turn sappy,
woebegone or pissed.


091024

HALT

You can stop death
and all heartbreaks.

Just stop nature.
That's all it takes.


091023

WITHDRAWAL

Did I blunder,
posting that first twit?
How long has it been?

Now I wonder—
can a “twitter quitter”
become anonymous again?


091022

THE END

No matter what I write,
if I polish it awhile,
when the piece is finished,
I finish with a smile.


091021

WRITTEN OFF

Barnes & Noble, Amazon,
Wal-Mart, Target, and so on—
everywhere one looks,
they’ve slashed the price of books.

Wait, here’s a coincider:
I’ve just become a writer!


***